Welcome!!

Featured

If you are reading this, by no doubt you are awesome. This is not an attempt to flatter you, to be honest, the word “awesome” has been overused so much that it has lost its effect. So I’ll let you know why you are awesome.

It is very ironical that I have this blog. But on another hand it is not… I guess that is another thing I’ll have to let you know.

It is ironical because I rarely read blog post’s except when they are recommended. I think it is stress, I think it is quite a commitment to keep up with a particular blogger’s blog posts. So here I am, with my blog, and fully aware that if people think like I do, no one would read my posts. But hey, this is me saying that many bad turns deserve a good turn *inserts laughing emoji*. And this is why you are awesome, because you are here, reading this. And just to be fair, this is me making a commitment to be a cheerleader once again. This is not me promising to follow every single blog post a blogger I like shares, this is me saying I will read, comment and support.

Why it is not an irony is that for a long time, I lost that girl in me who was so passionate, who was never afraid to dream big, I guess she thought she lost interest in what she was passionate about, but what really happened was that she got scared, so she climbed back into her shell. But I am finding her once again. I will love if you can be a part of this journey with me, as she unravels. She is passionate and she will share with you issues straight from her heart, because that is where she speaks from. She will write about the most random of things, She will write about faith, she will write about issues in the world we live in…so sit back, she wishes to speak now.

 

Advertisements

The little kid.

I grew up believing the African proverb that says “what an elder can see sitting, a child won’t see even if he should jump”.

Well, I don’t know if I totally believe that now, the statement seems biased to me. You are probably asking why? Before I answer that I would like to tell a story.

I know a little kid who believed every word spoken by his parents were the absolute truth (don’t blame his juvenile mind) but then again, as a kid all he ever wanted was to please his parents so yes! Those words were absolute wisdom to him, they were the compass he thought he needed to navigate the sea of life.

But life is an experience, tides and waves were bound to rock the ship he was on, now he realised that some things were wrong with the compass, he was almost certain that he wasn’t on the right route, he almost threw the compass overboard but he didn’t, instead he kept it and tried to fix it. In the process he figured out that he could explore and learn about the sea without being restricted by the faulty compass.

I sincerely don’t think wisdom is overly dependent on your age, no offence to the elderly. Wisdom is the application of a gained knowledge from study and/or experience, I could talk about king Solomon in the bible who was thought to be the wisest man in his time, yet, as much as his wisdom was of God he had to study, he was open to learning about life (Ecc 1:12-13). Knowledge is progressive, which makes wisdom timeless, it is not restricted to a time or place, but some conversations with my parents about life in general has led me to think that their judgement about certain things like faith, marriage and life in general is restricted to what was the norm in their time and any attempt on my path to correct some of their misconceptions is often met with indifference.

Even for the elderly, being close-minded doesn’t display wisdom. Like the little kid I have chosen not to throw the compass overboard, because not everything I have learnt from them is wrong, it’s just those little dogmas that need correction. So i will fix the compass and use it to explore life but remain open minded to knowledge.

Written by- The little kid

From Pink

The Three Minutes Blog

Dear You,

Did you see blood mix with my tears as I looked to you for mercy? Did you hear my mother’s screams as you snatched me from her arms? Did you hear me sing myself to sleep as your heavy blows rocked my little frame? Or did you pretend to not see the hopelessness that hung above me as I walked on egg shells around you?

How eager were you to see my heart pump no more? My pleas were music to your ears as you fed your ego on my broken state. The louder I screamed, the sharper you thrust, mixing my pain with your pleasure and drinking it like exotic wine.

I cried to the skies for help and saw the moon shed a tear as you choked the words away. I remember saying my last prayer and calling to mother with my last breath. I hope…

View original post 83 more words

How to make the best of traffic.

A friend of mine actually told me to write on this, and the first question that came to my mind was ‘you don’t live in Lagos, who are you to talk?’. However, being stuck in traffic almost every day for a week in Abuja, I believe gives me the entitlement to speak on this topic. I live in Karu, Abuja. If you live around the Karu, Nyanya, Jikwoyi parts of FCT, you would know that those areas are now the new Lagos, for real. Those areas are overpopulated, And every morning, people leave those parts of Abuja and head to their offices in town, following just one route. It looks like thousands of people trying to pass through a narrow gate at the same time, it is messy.

From my experience, the most annoying thing about traffic is finding out the cause of the traffic! And most times the cause is…nothing. You can imagine, instead of getting home in ten minutes, I get home in an hour or two, and when I get to the end of traffic, I’m really expecting to see that a car broke down on the road, there was an accident, they’re working on a road project, or something…I just want to see Something! However, I get to the end of the traffic and I see nothing, just a clear road.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, traffic is a demon.

We could go on and on ranting about how annoying traffic is, but let’s talk solutions. Time spent in traffic does not have to be wasted time, so here is a list of things you could do if you’re stuck in traffic.

  1. Listen to your favourite radio station: you might not even have a favourite radio station because you rarely listen to the radio. Don’t worry, traffic will make you love the radio, it will make you have a favourite radio station. No wonder radio stations are thriving in Lagos. In Abuja, no wonder wazobia fm is making waves. Almost every cab or bus I enter from Karu to town plays wazobia fm, listening to “embelembe” (wait I have to say this- “Olololo!!!!!) or “expensive”, and the passengers listen with keen interest, sometimes it even sparks debates and conversations.
  2. Your car does not have a radio station? Make a playlist of songs or podcasts on your phone, listen to it.
  3. You don’t have a car, you’re in a cab or bus and you could not be bothered about what they’re listening to, still make that playlist plug yourself in or put those headphones on.
  4. Sometimes I read books during traffic, you can do that too.
  5. Better still, you might have a friend with you in the car…gist!

Take advantage of the time spent stuck in traffic! To my friend who told me to write on this, I hope this helps.

Messing With Ideologies: “Que Sera Sera”-What will be won’t necessarily be (Pt 1)

WhatsApp Image 2018-10-29 at 02.17.37

So a prerequisite for reading this post is to sing along with me the lyrics of the popular song “Que sera sera’ by Doris Day.

‘’When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be, will I be pretty? will I be rich?  here’s what she said to me, Que sera sera, whatever will be will be, the future is not ours to see Que sera sera’’

For the longest time I always believed that ‘what will be, will be’. However, trying to dive in deeper into those lyrics, I actually don’t agree anymore.

Que sera sera -this is Spanish for ‘what will be, will be”. The phrase is used mostly today by people as a way of expressing acceptance in something that you can no longer control. As in, ‘I’ve done all that I can and I can’t go back and change anything now’. This is something you say when you are stuck in a hopeless unchangeable situation, but have come to accept, or even embrace the hopelessness of it all.

When a circumstance tends to favor you, of course you will be singing this at the top of your voice with the added French accent that comes with it, but when the circumstance doesn’t all seem favorable, I doubt ‘what will be will be’ will be at the tip of your tongue.

I’m saying you should take a mental inventory of your life, your family, are you satisfied with it? Have you noticed a trend or pattern that comes with accomplishments in your life? always almost there but not there yet? Slipping into daily walks of depression and you call it mood swings, I am talking about an unbroken generational line of poverty. Stagnancy in your lineage concerning progress and breakthroughs. Trends and patterns of ‘aunties’ in your life who endure their marriages, not enjoy it. Goliaths in your school, Career and relationships. My dear, what will be won’t be.

“The future isn’t ours to see” but what happened to dreaming big dreams that scare what’s scared inside of you?

The true definition of this song was to express a defeat mentality, sadly yes, but true. At times the reason we do not know a battle is at our doorstep is because we have called it by another name. ‘kai I’m always broke? … that’s a battle. Can we stop settling for mediocrity and saying its God’s will? Can you owe it to yourself, to look into some situations and correct it? Can we WANT MORE?!!!!!!

You owe it to your future to look into the history of the lions which you came from and tell yourself, this will not reoccur on my watch. When you know who you are and whose you are, ‘que sera sera’ should never be a song you are singing into your situation.

Dear Queen

WhatsApp Image 2018-10-19 at 09.44.51(1)

Dear Queen,

You are beautiful from head to toe,

Beauty that flows from the inside out,

Beautiful beyond compare,

Absolutely flawless.

 

Dear Queen,

Your heart is not merely a tiny organ that pumps blood.

Your heart is as large as the universe,

A safe haven for all who meet you.

That is why your heart needs to be in a safe place.

 

Guard your heart,

Let your heart find it’s home with your creator.

My Queen, you deserve a King,

Give your heart to a man after God’s heart,

Let your king’s heart find its home in God.

With God, your hearts are both at home,

Safe, and together.

 

Dear Queen,

You were made for so much more than ordinary life.

Don’t be afraid to speak out,

You were not made to fall in line.

So live, dream, dominate, laugh, love, roar.

 

You were created to rule, so rule.

Don’t let anyone define you, or label you, or box you

People will try to, but remember that it’s your story

You choose the words, the phrases, the sentences, that tell your story

Remember that you’re not the only writer.

Your creator made you a masterpiece,

A beautiful work of art, his work of art

Keep seeing yourself through his eyes,

And share yourself with the world.

 

Do not take this lightly, dear Queen,

The world needs you.

Once Upon a time, Africans created time.

DINING

Everyone would like to slow down the hands of time. Hold up, there is an exception-  Africans have created time, and apparently, we have all the time in the world.

Last week, I planned to attend an event with a friend of mine. I called him when I started getting ready, he said okay. When I left the house I called him, “I’ve left the house o, I’m heading to where we will meet”. I arrived at the meeting point, he was not there. I called “I’m there, where are you?” “I’m on a bike, I’m on my way” (he was not! He was at the ATM). Okay, he will probably be here in the next 5 minutes. 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes of standing under the hot sun, no show. I was ready to leave, then he called “sorry I had to stop by the ATM” (He also stopped by Chicken Republic- a restaurant). He eventually showed up with ice cream and chicken for me. Of course, I could not shout as much as I wanted to. We ended up arriving an hour late, but it’s okay, it’s just African time right? A lot of us are on the African Timing table, everyone has at one point in time arranged to meet with or visit someone, and even when you were 45 minutes away you said “I’m on your street already, I can see you now, you’ll soon see me”.

We live in time, and notwithstanding the different time zones, every single person has 24 hrs in a day. No more, no less. It largely depends on each individual to decide what to do with his or her 24 hours. ‘Time is money’ ‘if I could turn back the hands of time’ ‘no time to check time’- all statements that express how valuable time is. Sometimes, it may seem as though 24 hours is too little for all you have going on, but in the midst of all this, Africans seem to believe that they have all the time in the world, it is like we found a secret stash of time that nowhere else in the world is in on.

This is how it works- it encourages tardiness to appointments, meetings and events. So if an event is slated to begin by 12pm, you show up by 3pm. Now this is not just about the people coming for the event, if you do choose to attend that event on or before time, you would wait till 3pm before that event starts. This isn’t the case at all times, but it is typical of most events.

I have tried to come up with some reasons why people do not commit to keeping to time and the ultimate reason is that we really do not value time. We relate to time with extreme non-challance.  We resume work late, we go for classes late, we arrive at events or meetings late. Some people have fully adopted the rules of African timing and they believe that everyone else does as well. So when an event is to begin by 9.00am, people believe it will actually begin by 12pm (which happens a lot) so they show up by 12pm. Those who want to make an entrance show up by 3.00pm, while hopelessly timeless people show up when the event is over. If I call and I say “I’m coming to your house next week”, know fully well that that is not a statement of fact, I most likely will not show up. A lot of people (government workers especially) go late to work, some just go to sign the attendance and leave immediately. If you take a look at successful people, one thing that is typical of them is how they value, manage and maximise their time. It gets so bad that when people advertise meetings or events, they have to add #NoAfricanTime. The general rule is now African timing, while the exceptions are those who keep to time.

Is this really something we want to own? We have lost sight of how valuable time is. Ever heard the phrase “time flies”? Well, under the rules of African time, you take up valuable time, throw it away, and willingly let it fly. You metaphorically give wings to time.

Challenge: Decide to be on time for wherever it is you want to go for the next 30 days. It takes doing something consistently for at least 21 days to make a habit of it.

There is no such thing as “African Time”, there is only the right time.

Once upon a pain in the ass.

Make no mistake, the girl you see today used to be a synonym for the word “annoying”. I know this because my brothers hated me, or at least I believe they should have hated me, the things I did justified their hatred.

I cannot remember exactly how old I was, but this story starts from the moment I was able to eat beef. When I encountered beef, I encountered purpose…I saw how beautiful a world filled with beef was, and I was excited to be here! I loved beef so much that whenever dinner was served and I was done with mine, I would go to my two elder brothers and demand for their pieces of beef. Being the youngest child then, and the first girl, my dad would tell my brothers to give me their beef (you can understand their hatred now). Because of me, whenever we were eating at home, beef was the first thing my brothers went for.

That wasn’t even the weird part, there was a point my dad stopped telling my brothers to surrender their beef, which was quite sad. However, I made a decision to be the last to finish my beef, so I started eating it strand by strand…you know you can actually strip beef by its strands, so I did that. However, on one fateful day, my eldest brother was ready for me. On this day, I carefully watched as everyone ate, and once I saw that there was no beef on the plates, I started eating mine, strand by strand. Soon enough I was done and satisfied. Moments later, my eldest brother called me to a corner and when I got close, he opened his mouth and I could not believe what I saw…. BEEF! My brother hid his beef in his mouth and waited for me to finish eating mine! Yes, it was that deep. Immediately I saw the beef ,I used my fingers to pinch inside his mouth as well as pinch the beef out, and I threw it away! My brother screamed in pain, he was ready to beat the devil out of me, but I ran to my dad’s side and became Debby the untouchable.

Of course, it did not end there. My immediate elder brother took it upon himself to avenge my eldest brother, and as usual, I didn’t see it coming. It was a beautiful evening, we were out playing in the compound, running around playing “catcher” (Ajekpako for “Tag, you’re it!”). As I was running, I noticed my brother running towards me with focus, with concentration, as though I was a target. Before I could think about what was going on, he launched towards me and used his shoulder to hit my mouth with force! Fam…I lost 2 of my incisors that evening. I wasn’t about to lose my teeth then, it was broken off, by my brother’s shoulder!

Although I cannot remember how painful it felt, I can remember that when my brother created that gateway in my mouth, he created a gateway to sanity, and whenever I felt or saw that gap in my tooth, I was reminded to be wise and to respect other peoples beef.

Fast forward to a few years later, when we had a younger sister and a younger cousin living with us, I would call them to the corner of the sitting room whenever we were eating, stretch out my palms toward them, and say with a threatening tone “GIVE ME MEAT! GIVE ME BIG BIG MEAT!”